Any Penetration, However Slight…

…is sufficient to complete the offense. Any other current or ex-servicemen out there will recognize these words from the Uniform code of Military Justice regarding sexual offenses. Always made me snicker. So it’s just simple karma that now I own a board called the Penetrator. Today I got the Penetrator out in what i suspect will ultimately be perfect conditions for it–a rocking tailwind and some smooth six-foot swells. Not the cross chop and twenty footers of Malko (though I know think the board may eventually do well there in the right hands) but a relatively clean south side downwinder in a powerful, wrapping, somewhat onshore wind.

For intermediate level paddlers the Penetrator 572 may be the fastest board they’ll ever be on, but it may not get them to the end of a race the quickest. I should have known this might be the case. It exactly parallels my experience in racing cars.

Here’s the deal with racing cars. A great driver can’t overcome the disadvantage of having a slow car. But a mediocre driver will not win races just because he buys the fastest car. You need all the elements to come together to really be fast. You need a car that has the potential to win, and a driver that can drive to that potential. A mediocre driver can actually be slowed by a car that’s too fast, because he gets in over his head and has to back off.

That’s how the Penetrator is. When you get into a swell, the acceleration is sudden and hard to manage. It feels like there’s a motor in the thing, and someone just downshifted and stepped on the gas. But it wasn’t you–you’re just a passenger. Exhilarating, but hard to get used to. Sometimes it catches a swell and just smoothly rides it, typically for a hundred yards or so. Sometimes it mashes the throttle and careens down the swell to slam into the wave in front, burying the nose in the back of the wave. It doesn’t pearl–it just punches through. The nose will eventually come back up all by itself and you may find yourself riding the swell that used to be ahead.

All of this can be overcome with native skill or a lot of practice. There’s no question this board is fast. The only question is do you have the skill to ride it, and/or are you willing to pay your dues to learn. For myself, I remain committed to this board. I’ve really never felt anything quite like that wild rush when it slots into a good sized swell. But if you’re going to try one of these things you’d better either be good, or be committed. Because this thing is like a Formula 1 car, and that’s what it demands.

Top speed shown is around 9 MPH. I suspect I was going faster but the GPS didn’t get a chance to measure it because I fell so quickly. Most of the falls (many) were during the wild acceleration. I recommend a very sturdy leash for this board. when you fall the board is going 10 MPH and it’s in a wave. Not only can it get a long way away from you quickly if it’s unleashed, but if you have a wimpy leash it might snap it. It gives a heck of a tug. Towards the end of this run I was doing everything I could to grab the board in a fall. I figured the leash had already been close to the breaking point several times.