Second Hood River Race

I participated in the second race in the Hood River Big Winds series on Thursday, June 25th. I love the idea of a race series on Thursday night. Nothing much else going on, it stays light until ten in Oregon this time of year, and it’s a reasonable after-work drive from Portland. Diane packed a picnic dinner, we tossed the dog in the truck, picked up the grandkids from the OMSI Summer Science camp (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) and headed up the gorge.

We got to the registration in plenty of time, had a quick dinner by the river, watching the kite and wind surfers, and headed for the hook.

“Does this shirt make me look fat?” No, the french fries and beer make you look fat. Grandkids!! What could be cooler. Ian is the munchkin on my right, James is the bigger dude on the left. My two oldest grandsons. And that’s Michi Schweiger and Dave Kalama in the background.

While I was getting the board off the car I noticed two SUP paddlers rounding Wells Island. A few minutes later they showed up on the shore–Michi Schwieger and Dave Kalama. What a surprise. They had been at the first race along with Robby Naish, and I knew they were headed up to Canada to poke around, but I didn’t expect to see them back for the second event.

Lee Murry is the only other representative of the geezer contingent. Apparently Lee and I were separated at birth, though we just met at the last race. He windsurfs, surfs, races cars, and does SUP.


The ladies start. Love the grass skirts.

Since there was no elite paddler class this time Dave and Michi took off at the same time as the women and juniors, and just cruised with them, providing tips and encouragement.

Dave and Michi started with the ladies. Smart guys. A lot easier to look at them than me doing my imitation of a bratwurst

Men’s start. I thought my paddle made a little creaking sound when I started, but it was fine. Probably my shoulder.

The Men’s race started ten minutes later and I pulled into a comfortable early lead, rounding the tip of the hook well ahead.

Too bad the race didn’t end right here. I had ‘em

Ooof. Like someone shut a door in my face

Then we hit the wind. I’d say it was blowing twenty knots. I’m guessing twenty because it felt like thirty. I dug in and paddled hard, but two young whippersnappers got past me and pulled out a little lead. I could see a wind shadow near wells island, but there was also a lot of side swells. After a long grind I finally reached the shadow, wobbled off balance as the wind shut off and promptly got knocked off by a swell. Five paddlers got past me before I regained my feet and started paddling hard for the buoy.

Stroking for the wind shadow and the buoy. I fell about ten seconds after this shot. I’m the moose with the yellow lei

After rounding the buoy I slowed a bit to catch my second wind, then started stroking hard, working to catch the little runners. I did a lot of short stroking into the swells, then quickly turning on the face to extend the run and build speed. It worked pretty well, You can see from the GPS track that I got a lot of runners and maintained a pretty high speed. I passed my way up to fourth from eighth.

The leaders crank through the slot headed for the crosswind buoy

Gee, think I’m a little heavy for this board? There’s a tail back there somewhere

I started catching up with Dave Kalama in the downwind section–he was standing on his board with his paddle up catching wind, talking to the woman in last place and giving her tips on paddling. He was moving almost as fast as I was. What the hell is with that? I didn’t pass him until the last upwind section, where I was two strokes from blowing a gasket and he was still chatting calmly. Clearly he’s made some kind of deal with King Neptune.

Dave was taking in the sights when I paddled past him. Dave: “Oh, oh, here comes trouble. Howzit goin Bill. Hey what size board is that. Nice night, huh.”
My reply “arrrgh, uumph, gaaack, ummph”

Skye Robbins takes the women’s win for the second week in a row. Must be that grass skirt

The leaders were just ahead of me heading for the last stretch. I had some thought of beating them by making an all out effort–as if they wouldn’t be also. I nearly got the guy in third, but he saw me coming and redoubled his efforts. We crossed the line about two board lengths apart.

I actually entertained some notion of catching the leaders–lunacy induced by oxygen deprivation. The camera angle makes it look like I’m leading the guy in third (on the far right) but I never got ahead of him.


Our winner Nick Stuart

Second place Rob Parmenter

Third Owen Macdonald, and fourth, me. Owen had a bit left for the end. I suspect it was a fine motivator that I’m twice his weight and three times his age. No way he was going to let that fat old bugger get by him.

Fun race. The short length and high average speed belied the difficulty. It’s not easy. 1.9 miles in 24 minutes with an average speed of 4.6 knots. But it’s a true sprint–I had nothing left when I crossed the line. I think this is another good format for SUP racing.

This is a really fun series. If you’re anywhere near Hood River you need to get down there for it–there’s five more races to go. I didn’t make the after party this time because of the grandkids, but if it was anything like last time then it’s excellent too. A long honored tradition of Hood River–any event requires a really fun after party. I’m going to miss the next race–I’ll be up near Seattle for the Northwest Historic Races (vintage cars) but I plan to make the rest. For more info go here: